When it comes to romance, I’ve never been particularly picky. Ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you—give me a deaf guy in JNCO’s with a dent in his face and I’m on bended knee proposing. Why is it that I always seem to seek out charity cases, fixer-uppers, sloppy jalopies and the like? I have a theory that, as many a stylish person, I have an unspoken yet completely obvious desire to be the Henry Higgins to some tragic homo’s Eliza Doolittle.

This is why I sympathize with Kobe Bryant. Yes, the man may willingly wear a yellow and purple uniform on a regular basis, but when he’s not working, his attire is usually comprised of sharp designer suits that cost more than my car. They say that, when you’ve been with someone long enough, you start to dress alike. After seeing a photo of Kobe’s wife Vanessa wearing a Laker purple tutu earlier this week at a game in L.A.—which she defended by shouting expletives at a reporter who criticized what she was wearing earlier that night—I hope for his sake that he isn’t the one under the influence. While I do think his wife Vanessa could stand to take a cue from her husband, still, you gotta love a girl who’s willing to vindicate her fashion sense to the bitter, vicious end.  

—Marcos Luevanos 

A press event last week formally heralded the partnership between the Beverly Boulevard’s insta-classic ice creamery and the California Milk Processor Board, the folks behind the insta-iconic “got milk?” ad campaign that drew white mustaches on celebrities long before Perez Hilton made a devil’s pact with his Photoshop. 

The event was an opportunity to sample the recipes that chef/owner Bret Thompson shares as part of the promotion. Mini cups of milkie way malts, wee ice cream cones capped with a dulce de leche shell, berry tres leches cake: Everything looked amazing, but then again, what doesn’t at MILK?

Recipes are available online at www.gotmilk.com, in case you’re dying to break in your ice cream maker, candy thermometer and 1/2-inch pastry tip to recreate the signature macaron sandwiches at home.

I have to admit, though, aside from the general awesomeness of free ice cream on a sunny day, it’s difficult to see how the collaboration significantly affects either participant. It’s fantastic exposure for Thompson, but he pales in comparison to the ‘stached image of teenybopper-cum-Vanity Fair rabble-rouser Miley Cyrus as this month’s latest got milk? model.

Maybe Perez should be the next to surrender his upper lip. Wholesome? Hardly. Poetic justice? Uh, yeah.

(Perez, I want my 10 percent.)

—Jiyeon Yoo