Dr. Ward shows you how to break in a pair of jeans
How to break in a pair of jeans
One of my co-workers, professional foodie Ms. Jiyeon Yoo, was kind enough to donate a few pairs of more-expensive-than-I-realize designer jeans to the "Stop Alie From Dressing Like a Ross Commercial" cause. The problem? Jiyeon is tiny, and these are the tiniest doll pants I've ever tried to squeeze my Italian-bred caboose into.
But I found a solution for fitting into them: Sleep in your pants, people.
Saturday, I was lurching around like Robocop in these too-tight jeans, until faithful comrade Georgia called. I then discovered, if your pants are too tight, do the following:
1. Attend the Liz McGrath opening at Billy Shire in Culver City. Spot a Ryan Gosling and an Alexis Arquette and view some lovely weird pseudo-taxidermy sculptures:
2. Then head towards Little Radio's Winter party, accidentally drive down a one way street while lost, then park in a red zone and hop in to have some spiked eggnog.
3. Next, go to your friend's loft downtown. Watch your comrades consume the Strongest White Russians Ever Made, and encourage them to throw a pumpkin off a 3rd floor balcony.
4. Fall asleep on said friend's couch in a pile of Georgias, Alies and assorted drooling canines while watching Scrooged at 4am.
5. Wake up on friend's couch, still wearing the jeans from yesterday.
6. Go to iHop, still in the pants.
7. On your way home, decide to stop into the Barnsdall Art Market and look at awesome crafts. Still wearing the pants.
After a total of 19 hours straight in one pair of jeans, including sleeping, I can now say I've bonded with the pants emotionally, and have stretched out enough wiggle room for the booty.
High five peeps,
