Yes, it's late on the Friday before Labor Day and to no one's surprise, Alie and I are once again still in the building. But before you start feeling all sorry for our pitiful souls, just witness what hilarity ensues when no ones around.

The largest lobster festival in the land may be two weeks away (and sure, who can think of anything past the long weekend?), but we've got major lobster on the brain—for Alie, quite literally. Even the lobster gallery is joining in with applause.

Yeah, we know you want in on this late night workahol-party—if you can get past the big, buff bouncer we got downstairs.

G'night party people! Enjoy a labor-free weekend. 

Look at Seattle getting in on the frozen yogurt action. Obviously the design is a blatant rip-off, but we do like the title, as these things go. We can’t wait until Wackyberry shows up in Portland.

Oh, Trader Joe’s avocados. How we yearn for the old days when you were consistent and delicious. We felt we could count on you any time of year.

But lately, you’re moody. It’s only extremes with you: hard as a rock, or moldy, mushy, and fetid. Where did it all go wrong? Oh well, perhaps this is for the best. This may be our chance to start buying avocados at the farmer’s market. They’re so much more expensive than you, but we know we’re getting quality. Trader Joe’s avocados, you have toyed with our emotions for the last time.

We left off with Miss Alie Ward in mid-dance. (And yes, eagle eyes, that is a Veronica Mars calendar on music editor's Scott T. Sterling's desk--who showed up late to the party.

The clear favorite seemed to be the white chocolate mousse Pocky with an extra layer of creamy goodness that made it look like the Rolls Royce of biscuit sticks. I personally liked the chocolate with the extra dusting of cocoa: the bittersweet powder both cut through the sweetness and added an extra layer of texture (and I am all about texture in my food).

The A-Ward (ha!) goes to Alie Ward herself for her moment of sheer genius. So consumed was she with the inspiration, she tore her teeth through the next bag..

Pulled out one chocolate and one Tahitian vanilla... 

And made her own Pocky combo. Ingenious.

That's alot of stuff "happening in our mouth" (quoth, George Ducker after trying the strawberry with chocolate) and stepping up the Pocky Party, indeed. Party on.

Let's cut to the chase. It's been one tough week: we got the move downtown, tons of coverage of festivalia-galore for follow-up, and well, just sheer exhaustion. Not to the level of "crappy" (though it got damned close) but even Friday doesn't taste as it should.

I'm not one to throw big parties, but a day like today calls for one. And at Metromix LA/HQ, nothing causes sheer giggly delight like Pocky. Yes, I said Pocky. Those rail-thin, chocolate-coated biscuit sticks. You look at those and you know that a culture that daily uses chopsticks was the mad genius behind them. Of course, the Pocky empire expands well beyond the realm of chocolate. 

I hit my local Marukai and cleared the shelves of Pocky varietals and gained some serious lovin' from my colleagues (sorry, dudes, no photos). Come join us on our little Pocky Party (set in two parts), and let's see which creamy-coated dips passed our lips.

DISCLAIMER: In my efforts to resize my photos and with my hateful computer problems today, I realize that the photos are blurry. I'll see what I can do next time.

Bottom row (left to right): Tahitian Vanilla, Honey & Milk, Strawberry, Mango Mousse, White Chocolate Mousse

Top row: Gigantic sack of individual bags of original Pocky, Bittersweet chocolate with cocoa dust

Miss Alie Ward shyly hides her excitment at her first introduction to Tahitian Vanilla.

Oooh....Alie shows off how the pretty bag matches Alexandra's shirt of hotness

Sniff! It smells like cake batter...and tastes delightful! This ended up being the Ward favorite as it tasted like vanilla pudding (and shared the pure snowiness of Alie's skin).

Contributing editor George Ducker isn't afraid to get in on some Pocky action even in his formal Friday attire. "[Strawberry] smells like cigarettes!" Alex cries with surprise. Oh, that was George.

We appreciate guys who coordinate with their favorite Pocky, in this case: Metropolitan white chocolate mousse meet a creamy oxford with a touch of tie (perhaps an "Oxford" knot, if you will)

Alexandra liked the Mango Mousse, which was "enormous!" As she summarizes, the bigger the stick with more frosting, the better. Yes, that was meant to be sexual.

More delights from the party forthcoming—as well as some professional evaluation (I am a serious food editor, after all). For now, enjoy Alie's ballerina flight of Pocky euphoria during the intermission.  

TO BE CONT'D.

Everyone knows the best tacos are served from catering trucks and mobile stalls. It turns out the most fun desserts may be, too. There’s a truck that parks at Echo Park Avenue right below Sunset on weekday evenings, and it’s got all the sugary fried goodness you could hope for.

They also have fruit, but that’s boring. Unless of course you order it “con crema.” Better yet, try the fried plaintains with strawberry jam and melted, sweet cheese…I guess it’s safe to say those are an acquired taste. And there’s nothing wrong with a classic: The churros here are the best you’ll ever have, but be sure to ask for them fresh-made.

 
And get them before you hit the bars. The truck leaves around 10 p.m., but nothing’s a better base layer for margaritas at Barragan’s than dough fried in oil.

Intelligentsia Coffee, the much esteemed roaster from Chicago, moved into Silver Lake this weekend just in time for the Sunset Junction Festival, which gave it perhaps the biggest opening weekend a coffee shop has ever enjoyed (or not enjoyed: “Everyone wanted iced drinks,” sniffed the baristas about the weekend’s hipster revelers). Now that the hubbub is over, the highly trained, highly motivated staffers were able for the first time Monday to concentrate on what they do best, which is, obviously, crafting coffee. These people know their stuff, and know how to educate a palate.

When I announced myself as a coffee newbie, one of the baristas recommended a latte with agave syrup. So mysterious, and so right. It balanced out the bitterness I don’t like without getting overly sweet like a mocha. But then, the barista is from Seattle. They’re so authentic at Intelligentsia! And as if the Northwestern staff wasn’t proof enough, this is what truly blew my mind: students. Actual students, with charts and graphing calculators and anatomy textbooks and highlighters. Not a script in sight. Oh, I am so in love with Intelligentsia.

Looks like lowercase m's are all the rage in the world of logo design:

   (from L to R: Metromint, Metromix)

Meet 'Metromint' (no relation to Metromix), which is essentially water flavored with unsweetened mint. If this water tastes as half as good as we do, I pity the fool who deosn't drink it.

Our suggestion: throw a Metroparty, where each guest come dressed as his favorite Metromix editor, sips some ice cold Metromint, and gets Metrowasted on Medical Metrojuana.

Metromint. It's a good thing. 

After four months of essentially taking squatter's land in Santa Monica and building an entire website while sustaining on microwave popcorn, (stolen) diet coke, increasingly frequent Coffee Bean runs, and the occasional meal (but really only once in a while), the Metromix team is moving back to the LA Times Building.

Know what that means...yep, it's time to clean out our refrigerator. I'll spare you the photo (disposable tupperware should not be disposed or left to decompose in company fridges). We all got a hoot out of Alexandra's definition of cleaning things out when she found this tube of green frosting.

That's right. She is eating processed green frosting from a Betty Crocker tube. 

Downtown here comes our frightening eating habits! Can you dig it?

I've refrained from blogging about "Top Chef" because, well, who needs another write-up about that? Especially since there are others who are much better at it. (Keckler of TWoP, I love you.)

But last night's episode got my panties all in a bunch. The restaurant challenge has always seemed grossly unfair to me. Who would ever open a restaurant from the ground up within a 24-hour period? Granted, they are on a reality show, but it just seems like they're tasked with a Herculean project.

What really chapped my hide was the blogger that they put in the disguise of a critic. Who is this Andrea Strong? And what was up with the rude criticism? Like, "The host, a rather sweaty chap named Brian who might want to invest in either a swim suit or a truckload of Right Guard, frantically ran to the kitchen to fetch it."

Whadda? That just went past zingy, straight for the juggular. I know, snarky makes for pleasurable anything, but geez, give the dude a break. (And, yes I am aware of the hypocrisy of bitching at her bitchery).

Still, Dale had the best quote of the night. Describing himself as he's managing the front of the house: 

"I'm half prostitute, half performer. In the front, I'm smooth; in back, I'm a raging bitch!"

Funny how that statement could be a universally-applicable description of reality television. 

Oh, and did you notice who the guest judge was and how every one of the contestants nearly passed out when they beheld the glory that is Daniel Boulud? They practically soiled themselves.

Yeah, I met him. And he's lovely and fantastic. Here's the recap:

When a bikin-clad young lady offers you a flyer for the new lunch menu at a local Cuban joint, and a totally random dude offers you a flyer for medical marijuana a split second later, you know you live in a super neighborhood.

The restaurant: La Bodeguita de Cuba.

The random dude: some random dude.

His advice: "Get your medical marijuana on, get the munchies, then swing by here!"

Thanks again, Pico.

Now I know why my mom never visits.

Yet another reason why I love Koreatown...

It's already home to the greatest KFC in the city (world?), a postmodernist behemoth of a building complete with a lifesize replica of Mr. Sanders inside for all your MySpace profile pic needs. It's also home to BCD Tofu House, one of the most reliable post-drinkin' grub spots in this city.

But a couple weeks ago, while driving south on Western just north of 6th Street, I spotted a full-size ship smack dab in the middle of K-Town. Waaaaaa? And the name emblazoned on the side of the ship: CafeJack.net.

After passing it again tonight, I decided to look the joint up on something called "the internet." Turns out there's no real site for CafeJack.net, just a stand-in site that, to its credit, does mention a "Cafe Jack in Ktwon":

The site also features a pop-up window touting free screensavers, if you're in the market for sexy babes and/or dolphin pics (and who isn't?):

So:

Why is there a ship in K-Town?

Why does it have '.net' in its name if there's no Web site?

Who's my real father?

Stay tuned, Metromixers! I hope to have at least two of these questions answered by next week...

My mom would love this place.

Add this:

to your "List of Things...

...That Are Not Delicious"

This just in: Govind Armstrong of Table 8 will be joining my weekly TV date with Tom Colicchio. I guess that makes it a three... oh, never mind.

How do you think BravoTV will edit the cool, mild-mannered chef? Of course, the show will most likely present him as a Miami chef through his recently opened Table 8 South Beach. And, there is very little chance that he's going to come out with his asshattery a-blazin' like Norman Van Aken in the second episode (Dude, what was his deal?).

I'm more curious to see how they'll light him, because, seriously, Govind's skintone is gor-gee-us. He was 2004 People Magazine's 50 MOST Beautiful—and you know how authoritative that is. Plus, Padma? Didn't get that distinction until this year...when the list was extended to like more than 50. If he ends up wearing a questionable shirt or a weird hat to hide his killer dreds, I'll know that Padma pulled a diva move. 

What, you finally got that primo 8pm reservations at Craft? Whatevs. Cancel them and watch Govind out-pretty Padma. No? Got TiVO? Oh well, your (sort-of) loss. 

Where do they get these colors?!  

My buddy Josh was so taken with Robertson-adjacent Chaya Brasserie, he invited his sweetie Lynn and me along for Round Dos this past weekend.

The happy couple ordered two blindingly-bright-colored fish dishes, while I opted for the special bento box -- six compartments full of beautifully presented tuna tartare, seared beef and seaweed that goes for $29 (Josh was paying):

The only gross compartment: Bottom Left, a dis-gus-ting combo of sliced peaches, prosciutto and goat cheese.

It tasted like Sweet Slow Death, only worse.

What can I say, we're easy targets here at Metromix HQ. There's no shame in admitting that we get all punch-drunk, squee happy when someone, anyone, shows us a little unsolicited love. 

Enter Steve of Carvel Ice Cream who showed up one grumpy day and starting passing out ice cream. Now, if that isn't a way to turn that frown upside down.

And, really these Flying Saucers are fantastic. They may just look like mild-mannered ice cream sandwiches, but the cookie part is light and crunchy and freshly baked. Far superior to the supermarket variety.

He came around again (squee!) to delight us with the low, 150-calorie version of the Flying Saucers in both chocolate and vanilla. Skinny Cow, what? Big ups to Steve, the bestest ice cream man we know. 

Opening a new restaurant and need a clever name for your steak? Here's a good idea: Name it after one of the most beloved horses of all time. 

Downtown's new restaurant, Trifecta -- which bills itself as an 'Ultra-Lounge and Sports Bar' -- offers an 8 oz. corn-fed prime filet of tenderloin named 'Secretariat,' after the champion thoroughbred racehorse. 

Now that's a classy piece of meat.