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Patriot act
You know that phrase “As American as apple pie”? Yeah, never did it for me. Not even when McDonald’s used to patriotically deep fry those suckers.
Give me a crisp or crumble. Heck, I’d even take a buckle. But a pie just doesn’t have the right proportion of buttery richness to offset the goopy stew of baked fruit. And a crust that’s made out of Crisco? Now that’s totally whack.
But I may just have to stuff my piehole—with actual pie! A trek out to Jongewaard’s Bake-n-Broil in Long Beach revealed the most magical fruit in its olallieberry pie. So magical, in fact, it’s practically ephemeral: The olallieberry’s very short season ends right about when the fireworks fizzle out. (You can read more about it and get a mouth-watering photo here.)
“God bless olallieberry.” It’s got a nice ring to it. Traditionalists probably won’t bite, but I ask you: Doesn’t the phrase a la mode muddy up the American-ness of apple pie, anyway? I’m talking to you, Freedom Fry lovers. So in this final (finally!) July 4 with the most swaggeringly-conservative, reactionary, pious administration in my recent her-story, I can’t think of a more pleasing way to celebrate my American independence. Oh, say can you see a slice of olallieberry…
—Jiyeon Yoo
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