Um, how do I say this?

Fellow food-philes: I need your help. How the heck do you send back food without looking like a total d-bag?

In the rare instances I’ve found myself in such a sticky situation, here’s my one fallback strategy: politely ask the server whether the offending dish was meant to be cooked/served/mutilated in the manner that it was presented to me. “Is this the kitchen’s version of al dente?” “Is the fish supposed to smell like that?” Passive-aggressive? Yes. But by asking it in question form, it’s left up to the server to do her job and offer to rectify the matter.

But my trick may be losing some of its mojo, as my recent visit to BLT Steak revealed. My date and I wanted the bone-in rib eye medium rare. The steak came stuck with a jaunty plastic tag that read “medium rare.” It should have read “wishful thinking.” Even from across the table, I could tell that it was done—very well done.

When our server finally came by (funny how the wait staff disappears just when you really need them), I queried, “Does this look medium rare to you?”

BLT Steak redefines 'medium rare.'

Our server got down to the level of the meat, peered at it, and replied, “Uh…I think it is…Let me ask the kitchen.” Then disappeared without taking the plate with him.

By the time he popped up again to hurriedly ask if we wanted anything packed, it was practically midnight, and I was too tired to put up a fight. I had no recourse—except to take the offending meat home and now I’m blogging about it. See what I mean about looking like a total d-bag?

—Jiyeon Yoo