Jamba Juice wants to know if I'm a morning person

“Are you a morning person?” the media blast from Jamba Juice blares at me. Um, sure I am if it qualifies that I just saw the sun rise after a long night of battling writer’s block.

As if it weren’t enough that the gigantic tanker of Caribbean Passion or Mango-a-go-go has become the most substantive thing we put in our stomach (yes, it serves as both lunch and dinner sometimes), Jamba Juice wants to be the most important meal of our day as well. To celebrate the launch of its new breakfast menu, participating locations (pretty much every free-standing store in the Continental U.S.—sorry, Hawaii) are giving away free breakfast items until 10 a.m. on Tuesday, April 8.

So what constitutes breakfast at a place that has cornered the market on smoothies and fruit blends? Aside from baked goods and fresh-squeezed juices, morning “meals”—as the menu calls them—consists of yogurt-based mixtures, whipped up to a flurry in a signature Jamba blender, then finished with a granola topping. And, you’re going to need a spoon! (I guess, that’s where the “meal” part comes from.) It pretty much sounds like Yoplait sprinkled with Trader Joe’s granola. But what do I know: I had five sticks of chewing gum and a gallon of black coffee by 9 a.m. this morning.

The boundlessly energetic juice company also wants to educate on the importance of eating a healthy breakfast with the 21-Day Challenge. By signing up online, I can keep track of my morning habits—kind of like the troublesome calorie-counting I had to do for a nutritional science class—while also getting dietary tips and having a nutritionist who will answer questions from users. BTW, my participation implies that I’m actually going to eat breakfast for the 21 days it takes to develop healthy eating habits (this, according to “experts” referenced by Jamba Juice, not by me).

At the time of this blog, the website had yet to post the 21-Day Challenge, so I can’t vouch for the kind of information that’s available beyond the general Nutrition 101 section. For now, let me provide my favorite breakfast-related nugget: Did you know that sumo wrestlers skip breakfast, which is one important step in helping develop their, um, physique? According to one source, skipping breakfast leads to overeating later in the day and a 5% drop in metabolic function—which, given time plus 10,000 calories a day and a makeshift thong equals this:

—Jiyeon Yoo