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An open letter to Lauren Conrad
Dear Lauren,
While viewing your spring 2008 collection, I was instantly challenged by the New Year's resolution I made to be less of a grade gAy bitch. It's only February and you're making it hard for me L.C. I had to pray to Santa Anna Wintour at least three times before I got through your look book. What would she do in this situation? It's a question I ask myself on a daily basis. It's why I now wear sunglasses on the toilet.
My point is, you created something—for better or worse-and I'm torn; do I take this prime opportunity to ridicule you and your designs, as so many people have, or do I take the high road? Because the former is too easy and the latter is pretty much impossible, constructive criticism seems the best way to go.
The clothing: It looks like Rachel Pally for Target, which isn't a bad thing, if it weren't for...
The price tag: $145 for a generic jersey tent dress that looks like it would fall apart after one wash is ridiculous. Did you think about your demographic at all? You should have started out by designing a line for Forever 21 or Charlotte Russe.
The design names: Naming them after your friends comes across sort of childish, like you're naming stuffed animals or a teacup Chihuahua. Naming something slutty like a fishnet thong "The Heidi" would have made it bearable.
In conclusion, keep your dress form up, your muslin fabric handy, and remember: Today is where your look book begins, the rest is still undesigned.
Sincerely,
M.L.
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