Egg on his face

I'm totally late to this party, but I finally got around to seeing the premiere episode of "Top Chef...Chicago!" (knife swish)—Could that promo be any cheesier?

Everyone in the free world has already had their say about it, including MMX's own, the lovely Katherine Spiers. All the conspiracy theorizing and odds-making and bone-picking is fun stuff, but I had no intention of jumping into the fray. Except...

So we all know that contestant Ryan doesn't know a piccata if it slapped him and left a streak of eggy breadcrumbs on his face. But, um, does super chef Tom Colicchio? He admonished Ryan: "Traditionally, piccata is dipped in egg..." Then, schooled him some more during panel: "A piccata is dredged in flour and then egg and then pan fried, and a Milanese is breaded in breadcrumbs. There’s a difference in the two...You guys gotta go back and know classics to appreciate the newer dishes."

Many good points, Chef, but...er...how do I say this? Piccata-isn’t-dipped-in-egg-either. Whew.

Look, even as I write this, I feel sick to my stomach. I don't presume to know more or better. Colicchio is Italian after all, whereas I am…not. It’s very possible that he misspoke, even multiple times. But, when you’re ripping the poor guy a new one—and especially if you have production control so that you can reshoot or dub over the film—well, you should be right. Maybe I’ll be the one with egg on my face at the end of the day, but protein in piccata (which I believe specifically refers to the lemon and capers sauce) is usually just floured. And where was Rocco or Anthony? Surely they could have piped up and corrected the matter. Maybe they were too baked to care…not that I’m implying anything about on-set escapades.

While I’m on the subject of TV: How stoked was I to access my DVR and see something like this?

I kind of equate it to what it might have felt like to find one of those souvenir license plates for your name—something I obviously never experienced as a kid. Maybe now my family will stop calling me “Bort." (Holla, if you know the Simpson episode I’m talking about.)

—Jiyeon Yoo