Why, NYC, why?

With all those humps and bumps and studs, they're more stegasaurus than sandal, don't you think?

Nicole Richie and Kimberley Stewart have also been photographed out and about in these prehistoric  atrocities all summer long.

Listen—I'm sure an actual gladiator would find them useful, especially when trying to kick someone to death. But ultimately, I think they'd look best around the neck of my boyfriend's bull terrier, Bruce.

I just interviewed awe-inspiring jewelry designer Jules Kim of Bijules NYC, who is creating far-out gold and silver pieces in the shape of ice picks, grenade launchers and dental retainers. Kim, who has diamond-encrusted teeth, is beloved by MIA and Gwen Stefani and other divas of infinite hotness. She told me how she's just cast a new piece from her recently-deceased aunt's false teeth. Here's what the 27-year-old East Village innovatrix said in our AIM  interview:

juleskim(10:03:33 AM): i paid ode to my aunt winnie by casting her false teeth and studding them with gems

juleskim (10:03:33 AM): its ok

juleskim (10:03:38 AM):  death is part of life

juleskim (10:04:04 AM): winnie used to take her teeth out and talk to my twin and i

juleskim (10:04:09 AM): gummin it out

juleskim (10:04:13 AM): f--kin hilarious

Look out for the full interview on the Metromix style page soon!!!

25 years of stars, hearts, rainbows and clouds, and the Care Bears are still going strong—and not a wrinkle in sight. Were you a Tenderheart bear fan? Or perhaps, like me you were a Grumpy Bear kinda girl. Do you remember when Carole King sang the Care Bears movie theme song, "Care-a-lot"? And did you celebrate when the politically-correct Amigo Bear was born in 2006? This year, to mark their 25th birthdays, the Care Bears have a new movie, called "Oopsy Does It".

I'm not sure why I care about Care Bears, but I do.

Style Ryder commands you to encase your private parts in items from the new intimate apparel collection by Diesel. I'm especially fond of these tighty-whities (not a snip at $35), which emulate Calvin Klein's "brand-name-on-the-elastic" underwear from the 1990s.

You remember Marky Mark with his Calvins sticking out from under his jeans? Swoon. And if you're really really old like me, you'll also recall how sexy 1990's squatter chicks used to wear nothing but a pair of Calvin Klein men's shorts underwear with fishnet tights and steel-toe Doc Marten boots, and maybe a few dreadlocks and a maroon wool halterneck bikini top.

Today, the same outfit would give me hives. But back then? Hot!

In a sparkly stroke of marketing genius, fuschia-haired jewelry designer Tarina Tarantino has teamed up with internet phenomenon Jeffree Star and the AFI's Davey Havok for a giant video campaign promoting her next jewelry collection, called "Tokyo Hardcore". Here's Davey, looking typically emo-tional:

The teaser that was released on Tarantino's Buzznet.com page features Havok playing an angsty rock star (hard to imagine, I know), lip-syncing to Pulp's "This is Hardcore" (best. song. ever.) while intermittently making out with an insanely hot young Japanese model. Alfonso Campos, Tarina's business whizz husband, invited Havok to play the part after meeting him at a Camille Rose Garcia opening. Havok, being a friend of Jeffree's (you see how incestuous the fashion world is?) decided to give it a whirl.

The move represents part of a general new approach to fashion marketing...one which ventures beyond catwalk and catalogue and steps into the world of film, or so-called "fashion cinema". Susan Ciancolo screened a short abstract film at one of her recent fashion shows, in which the actors wore items from her collection. Tarantino has taken things a step further with her series of MTV-friendly videos, due to accompany the launch of her Tokyo Hardcore collection.

Getting Jeffree Star involved was a very smart move, not least because he has 15 million or so MySpace friends who faithfully track his every move, and who probably enjoy buying pink and shiny jewelry...like Tarantino's! I am constantly amazed by the fame that Jeffree Star has achieved, through just working the MySpace. Sometimes it makes more sense if I think of him as the gay Paris Hilton, savvy and vacuous, a poster-child for the OxyContin generation.

Do check out user comments to the video on Buzznet. I especially enjoyed Star's bitch-slap to a female fan named "cerealwars13", who dared to question Davey's "man-whore" presentation in the Tokyo Hardcore video. Star's response begins "you're a piece of fucking shit".

Meeooow, ladies!!! 

Guess what, another streetwear store hit Fairfax...NYC's ALife opened up on Saturday and the sneaker freaks were more rabid with consumerism than ever. Or was that just the triple-digit heat?