Runnin' With The Devil

Once upon a time, Van Halen was the most dangerous band in America. Long before "Jump" and the birth of "Van Hagar," David Lee Roth, Michael Anthony and the Van Halen brothers Eddie and Alex ruled the world of heavy metal boogie rock. Hard as eff, menacing and super sexy, their initial album run—from the instant classic debut through the underrated psycho-sexual opus "Fair Warning" and the blockbuster "1984," no one could even touch them in terms of sheer power, style and in-your-face attitude.

Yeah, a lot has gone down over the years. And where the VH reunion was supposed to be the mega-event of the year, Eddie's stint in rehab and more internal riffing has the whole thing stumbling out of the gate with more of a whimper than a bang. I'm still not sure what to make of Eddie's son Wolfgang (with Valerie Bertinellli!) on bass instead of Mike Anthony. The kid's what, 16? Not exactly who I imagine singing background vocals on "Ain't Talkin' ’Bout Love."

I'll find out what the deal is first hand on Monday morning when I nervously attend the press conference where the reunited VH will officially announce the details of their impending tour. WIll Eddie be sober? Will David Lee Roth be coherent? Will Valerie be there watching over Wolfgang? It's going to be one manic Monday. Details at 11…