Mommy, can I go out and kill tonight?

It was inevitable, I suppose. All work and no play – you know the rest. So tonight, we played. And we played to win. Did it work out that way? Who knows. I barely remember my name at this point. It was all of that organic vodka. Does that mean I’ll have a green hangover tomorrow, er, later on today?

Moving Units kept it angular. DJ A.M. sported the dopest Britney Spears shirt ever. “American Idol” finalist Constantine smiled. Girl Talk sweated like a bastard and had L.A. dancing like goons to Cyndi Lauper and Fleetwood Mac. A man after my own heart. I yelled at a bouncer. I got my way because of it. I tried to start a fight, and almost succeeded. OK, that's not entirely true. I just held up a karmic mirror to some rude d-bag and he didn't like it at all. I did not, however, throw up.

Rob got elegantly wasted. But not before he played the track the Clash made with Futura 2000. Ron Jeremy humored me. Paris Hilton rushed by me. Frankie Chan looked sharp. Ellei took pictures. Joe laughed. Tigarah was sweet. Alexandra was psyched about her trip to Alabama (firearms were involved). I took pictures of cute girls. I traded cards with cuter girls. I’m so effing L.A. right now it hurts. I can’t wait to see Daft Punk on Saturday. Stretch Armstrong played a sweet remix of “Roxanne.” A-Trak was gracious and well dressed. Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Doll was nice (and hot). I met a woman going to New Zealand to compete in the World Bartender Championships. Cristina was on it, and then over it. A drunk couple kept grinding against my back. I was a complete cheese-ball and hung out in the DJ booth during Girl Talk, taking pictures and being so scene. I laughed – a lot. I talked to Steve Levy – a lot. I drank (all together now) – a lot. Alie and Gemini came and went. I heard some amazing gossip. I said "what's up?" to Cisco Adler. I saw some dude that was in the Borat movie. I ran into Shannon's friend that looks just like Vincent Gallo, and took a picture of him making out with a hot blonde. Contrary to appearances, I am not proud. People threw down - hard. 

And then I went home. 

Happy Friday, and can we hurry up with the Bloody Marys already? Dang.