When a club wants to open with a splash, they invite one of three DJs: DJ AM, Steve Aoki or Caroline D’Amore. Caroline, of course, isn’t much of a DJ, but she’s hot and she’s best friends with Paris Hilton—so, booking Caroline usually guarantees an appearance by the blonde heiress and a subsequent mention of the new venue in Us Weekly. I bring this up because Ms. D'Amore is DJIng the opening of V Lounge in Santa Monica on August 9. Here’s the scoop on the new spot.

V-Lounge brings a sexy dining atmosphere and nightlife experience to the Westside. Reminiscent of a sleek, upscale boutique hotel lounge, the décor features low-backed ottomans, hidden nooks, and streamlined booths arranged in amphitheater style seating that radiates from the perimeter of their signature sunken dance floor, the largest in Santa Monica.

Sounds hot, but will Paris drive out to Santa Monica?

Are you all sick of me talking about Opera yet? Don’t worry: This might be my last post about the new club for a while because…it kind of sucks.

The whole point of going out is to have fun, but unfortunately the staff at Opera doesn’t seem to see it that way. On Friday night, the black-clad security team treated the people waiting in line like they were criminals—screaming at them to stand still on the narrow sidewalk, looking at the girls as if they’d all committed fashion crimes.

I wanted no part of this scene. I left my friends to hold our place in line while I sauntered up to the bearish doorman—press badge and business card in hand—to explain that I was there to write about the club. He said I could either ditch my friends and come in by myself or stand back in line. Seriously? Who goes to a club alone?

A couple minutes later I saw Suk Sung, head of marketing and promotions, and asked if he'd let us in. Suk, who had given me the scoop on Opera and had asked me to write about the club, basically gave us the hand and ran away. (I should tell you that my friends all looked hot in mini skirts, shiny hair and glossy lips.) Then we called promoter Zen Freeman, who'd put us on the list. And, nice guy that he is, he came out and escorted us in.

Victory!

We walked through the fog "curtain" and "ooohed” and "ahhhed" at the fancy arched ceiling as we made it to the bar. After the hour-long debacle outside, it was time to get drunk. (Maybe that's their trick for getting clubbers to work up a thirst and spend all their money on booze.) Of course, it took 45 minutes to actually order those drinks—which cost $45 bucks for a beer, one vodka cranberry and two kamikaze shots—and by that point we were all annoyed again.

We thought dancing would cheer us up. But my friends didn't like the DJ. I thought he was pretty good, but a little booze goes a long way with me. Instead we watched Rex Lee bump 'n grind; observed the ratio of young girls to old guys (about 70 to 30); and scored some free lemon drop shots, which I have to say were really yummy.

Best part of the night? Crawling into bed.

Press weren't allowed inside new club Opera on opening night, but that didn't stop us from trying. Click here to see all the tabloid-worthy pix taken by our photog Victor Rodionoff, who might never forgive me for making him stand outside with the paparazzi.

Only nine more hours until the opening of Opera, David Judaken’s swanky new club that’s sure to be the talk of the town (and the tabloids) for years to come. Good luck crashing tonight’s event though. The hard-asses at The Alliance are hosting the bash and unless you look like Paris Hilton or drink like Lindsay Lohan, you won’t past their iron rope. (Even I don’t know if I’ll be able to crash because The Alliance is vehemently anti press and the prominent Hollywood club owner I was going to sneak in with just flaked on me because he doesn’t feel like dealing with tonight’s door drama.)

Here’s the scoop:
The club is located on 1650 Schrader Boulevard in Hollywood. Judaken has divided the space into two: Opera and Crimson. Opera is the elegant half, decked out with beautiful archways and fog screens. Crimson, which opens next Wednesday with an X Games event hosted by Travis Barker, is the rock ‘n roll side. What does rock ‘n roll really mean at an A-list club? Snakeskin and faux-fur décor.

Here’s what you can look forward to:
At Opera, The Alliance will hold court on Thursdays and nice guys Zen Freeman and Chris Paul will take over on Fridays; nightclub vets Chris Whalley and Herman Town will preside over Saturdays; and on Sundays, Icon will host hip-hop parties.

Over at Crimson, “David & David” of Teddy’s fame will hook up with Jean Paul to host a “hipster” night on Wednesdays and beginning Monday, August 6, youngster promoters Ryan Cook, Michael Bellisario and Brad Hoss will take over.

Here’s the hook-up:
You’ll notice I linked to just about every promoter’s Myspace page. Go make friends with them so that they'll let you in!

Oh Opera, how I can't wait to see what's behind your plywood shield.

What is it about Guy's bar in WeHo that make the girls act so crazy? Last June, Lindsay Lohan screamed, cried and flailed around after getting rejected at the door—Danny Masterson was hosting an upscale jazz night and he allegedly turned her away for not being classy enough. The following month, Nicole Richie partied at the bar dressed in little boys’ underwear worn over her tight black jeans, leaving everyone to realize how skinny she'd really gotten. Then, last night, Paris Hilton made out with Mischa Barton's hairy and seemingly dirty ex-boyfriend Cisco Adler at Guy's. Of all the guys Paris can get and she chooses Cisco? That just isn't right. 

Lindsay Lohan isn't the only one worthy of headline news today. I just heard that Winston's owner Andy Fiscella is opening a new restaurant and bar with Chris Huvane, Charlie Lew of Hardball Productions and Matt Lavin, not to be confused with Matt Gavin, Charlie's partner at Hardball. The spot, set to open in December, will serve comfort food and have a have a timeless, old-Hollywood vibe, complete with large patio and a full club license. "It's not something that will be redesigned in a year," Charlie told me. As for the location: It's still "undisclosed," but I can tell you it'll be located just east of Winston's between Jones Hollywood and Bar Lubitsch, both hotspots owned by Fiscella's nightlife hero Sean MacPherson.

Going to the bank doesn’t usually make me want to party—sigh—but that’s all about to change with Bank Heist, a new North Hollywood club that opens in August. Men.style.com got the scoop: Apparently, it’s located at 5303 Lankershim Boulevard in a ‘20s-style bank designed by John Parkinson, the same architect who designed old-school L.A. landmarks Los Angeles Memorial Stadium and City Hall. This will be followed by Crocker Club and Mercury Liquors, two clubs set to open in old-school Downtown banks. Mercury Liquors, of course, is Marc Smith’s next high-profile gig after opening The Edison in an a revamped boiler room.

I hope David Beckham didn't move to L.A. just to go nuts and check into rehab. The soccer player went to Skybar on Saturday night after his first game (and loss) with The Galaxy. And, while no one has reported that he drank a lot, the Skybar has become the last-ditch spot for celebs to go crazy before checking into rehab. Britney smoked butts at the poolside bar after she shaved her head; Jesse Metcalfe "enjoyed" his last bender here; and Lindsay Lohan was here on the same night she managed to wedge her car between a tree and a house.

Photo credit: Wally Skalij  

What’s going on with Chris Breed? Usually, it’s his business partners who work behind the scenes while he serves as the (seriously handsome) face of his venues. Lately, however, he’s been taking a back seat. He was supposed to be the big name behind Ritual, formerly White Lotus, but he sold out of the club just before it opened. Then, on Tuesday, his new spot The Green Door opened next door to Cabana Club, which he also owns, without the slightest bit of fanfare. Yes, Linkin Park was playing at Ritual and Les Deux was having its one-year anniversary party, but still. I’d have thought this opening would have been a bigger deal, especially with Johnny Zander (formerly of Teddy’s) as his right-hand man. I spoke to Chris yesterday—he sounded exhausted—and said he’s expanding his business in Las Vegas and Miami and, while he didn’t say it outright, he seems pretty over the Hollywood scene.

 
He's usually so chatty, but this is all I could get out of him about The Green Door.

•There’s a green door.

•The walls are green.

•There’s a lounge vibe.

•There’s a tapas and crepe menu.

•It’s also outfitted with turn-of-the-century French furniture.

•It has a lounge vibe.

Yep, that’s  it. That's not much of an incentive to go, is it?

Poor Charlie Lew has the worst luck when it comes to water disasters. Two years ago, rain washed out his New Year's Eve party at the Paramount Lot (so much time and money lost!) and, just months after opening his upscale sports bar Trifecta, the kitchen flooded—on a day he was to show the bar to some very important people, no less. (Charlie plans on opening Trifecta locations all over the country.)

Nevertheless, Trifecta has not closed down. For the time being, it’s open for lunch from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and for special events. In fact, football star Reggie Bush (pictured) just had his birthday party here. Once the plumbing situation gets resolved, the place will reopen in the evenings. 

When did Les Deux become such a magnet for celebs fresh out of rehab? Just because the spot serves spaghetti doesn’t mean it’s not really a club—you know, in case Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears thought they were fooling anyone. Britney, of course, was there on Sunday night and inspired a parking-lot brawl and Lindsay was there last night for the club’s one-year anniversary. Was the anniversary bash worth the negative press she’ll get for hitting yet another club? Meh. Aside from the two male go-go dancers on the stage, the event wasn’t all that sexy.  

What if you could lose weight, boost your immune system and stop global warming while getting drunk? That's what brothers Courtney and Carter Reum, both twentysomethings, have set out to do with VeeV, an açaí liqueur that's become all the rage at trendy bars like Winston's, Les Deux and Skybar.

The pros:
Not only is the booze packed with antioxidants, vitamins C and E, calcium, dietary fiber and protein, but the liqueur also has prickly pear, which supposedly fends off hangovers. What’s more, the Reum brothers are environmentally conscious: They use recycled packaging and soy ink, insist that their salespeople drive Hybrids and—the best part—they donate some of their proceeds to the Amazonian Forest, where açaí berries are harvested.

The cons:
You have to drink a lot of VeeV just to get the slightest buzz—this is coming from a light weight too. And, while the fruity alcohol doesn’t taste bad, it doesn’t taste all that remarkable either.

The bottom line:
If you'd rather burn a hole in your pocket than in the ozone, order a VeeV cocktail.

Britney Spears is like the rodent problem I had when I lived in Boston. No matter how thoroughly I cleaned the apartment or blocked the holes with steel wool, the mice would multiply and squeeze their nasty little bodies through any opening they could find. They’d come out while I was in the shower or crawl on my face when I was sleeping; once a dirty little thing even jumped out of my box of cereal. Disgusting.

I’m as equally repulsed and obsessed with the Britney phenomenon as I was with the mouse infestation that signified my time in Boston. (I can’t even tell you how fitting I think it is that she got her start on the “Mickey Mouse Club.”) She can go to rehab, slim down, wear underwear and put in hair extensions, and she’s still a mess. For one thing, the girl goes clubbing despite multiple stints in rehab. For another, she wears her clothes backwards and barfs all over herself.

But what really perplexes me is the team of supporters that not only defends her, but that act like her too. For example, the girls who duked it out in Les Deux’s parking lot on Sunday night, after one chick called Britney a whore and told her to go home to her babies. Typical Britney behavior ensued: hair extensions were torn out, unsightly body parts exposed. The best part: Britney wasn’t even there to partake in the drama ‘cause she’d already driven off.

It’s like Britney’s is the queen kahuna and spawning off little baby rodents, all of whom have matching hair extensions and share the need to show off their naked body parts.

Holy mother of God. Linkin Park is kicking off its tour tonight at Ritual. Yep, you read that right! They’re taking over Ritual, home to every celebrity and A-lister in Hollywood, for an intimate show that will benefit Music for Relief. Naturally, the event is invitation-only, with tabloid magnets Adrian Grenier, Britney Spears and Rachel Bilson on the list. There’s no way anyone will be able to crash the party, but you can certainly go and listen from the parking lot, where I’m sure the paparazzi will be hanging out. (I guess this event will take the thunder out of Les Deux’s anniversary party.)

Shermar Moore must be on damage-control duty after being photographed in the nude on a gay beach in Hawaii [link NSFW]. Our intern-about-town spotted the “Criminal Minds” star at The Joint on Saturday night and not only was he flirting with all the ladies, but he also kept lifting up his shirt, probably in an attempt to show people that he has a hard time keeping his clothes on whether he's on a gay beach or a club.

Who knew the Beverly Hills Hotel had such a kinky side? I went to the hotel’s new posh Bar Nineteen12 over the weekend and behold a page from their menu:

Rawwwr.

Do I have a stick up my butt or is it messed up that Privilege celebrated the premiere of "Captivity" by reenacting scenes from the horror flick? Torture chambers and all! For those of you who don’t know, the movie is about a girl (Elisha Cuthbert) getting roofied at a club and then tortured. Something that, unfortunately, happens way too often.

That said: I’m going to be totally hypocritical for a second and say that Jenn Laskey did a great job putting together the entertainment. It’s not often that you see bloody baby dolls at Privilege, much less girls wearing Mohawks and black electrical tape over their nipples. 

(Photos courtesy of Jenn Laskey)

Sayonara Star Shoes. The kitschy bar recently shut down and is getting made over into Vice, an exclusive haunt on Hollywood Boulevard that should be a cross between Stone Rose Lounge and Winston’s. Comfortable, upscale and edgy.

Steve Fowler (former Barfly manager) and Steve Goldberg (former Club 7969 manager) are the owners behind the bar and I heard on the DL that they roped in a controversial actor to invest in the place. (I really, really wish I could tell you who that actor is, but Fowler swore me to secrecy for at least two months.)

Here’s what you need to know for now:

Vice opens August 8, but the grand opening doesn’t go down until August 15.

It won’t be an easy door to get into, but the doormen won’t be a dick to you about it if he can’t let you in.

Dudes in shorts and out-of-work actors with big egos will not get in. They especially won’t get in if they’re wearing a sideways Ed Hardy hat.

Girls will always have an easier time getting in, but Fowler encourages skimpy clothing on girls. Check out the pics on his MySpace page for proof.

The music will be heavy on the rock ‘n roll classics and light on the hip-hop. Fowler also wants to start a house night on Sundays. Interested? Email me at aletellier@metromix.com and I’ll forward it along.

Sayonara Star Shoes. The kitschy bar recently shut down and is getting made over into Vice, an exclusive Hollywood haunt that aims to be a cross between Stone Rose Lounge and Winston’s . Comfortable, yet upscale, yet edgy.

Steve Fowler (former Barfly manager) and Steve Goldberg (former Club 7969 manager) are the owners behind the bar and I heard on the DL that they roped in a controversial actor to invest in the place. (I really, really wish I could tell you who that actor is, but Fowler swore me to secrecy for at least two months.)

 
Here’s what you need to know for now:

Vice opens August 8, but the grand opening doesn’t go down until August 15.

It won’t be an easy door to get into, but the doormen won’t be a dick to you about it if he can’t let you in.

Dudes in shorts and out-of-work actors with big egos will not get in. They especially won’t get in if they’re wearing a sideways Ed Hardy hat.

Girls will always have an easier time getting in, but Fowler encourages skimpy clothing on girls. Check out the pics on his MySpace page for proof.

The music will be heavy on the rock ‘n roll classics and light on the hip-hop. Fowler declares hip-hop over and would really like to start a house night on Sundays. Interested? Email me at aletellier@metromix.com and I’ll forward it along.

Star Shoes flashback; Photo credit: Ricardo DeAratanha

Ignore the gossip that LAX co-owners DJ AM and Loyal Pennings are at odds with each other. They are opening another Hollywood club together on September 1. It’ll be on Orange Street, right behind Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and early word is that the club will have a Skybar vibe. I hope that means poolside beds and celebrity shenanigans.

The Parlor is located at 1519 Wilshire Boulevard in Santa Monica.

The Beverly Hills Hotel must be really desperate to lure in the 'young' crowd with its new Bar Nineteen12, which opens tonight. The posh spot has a handsome (dark wood, gold tones, leather chairs), but the drink menu has the kiddie thing going on to the extreme. According to Urban Daddy's "preview," the bar serves martini popsicles, mojito sorbet and jelly shots, an interpretation of the good old Jell-O shot. Yum. The "Cereal Milk" martini, on the other hand, sounds disgusting and gives me the impression I'll be drinking someone curdled backwash. No thanks.

We all complain about having to wait in line to get past the velvet rope, especially when you know the club’s totally empty and that the doorman is just making people wait so it looks like there's a buzz outside. But aside from being annoying, waiting outside might not be safe.

The recent car-bomb incidents that have recently taken place outside London clubs have LAPD Chief William J. Branton on alert; L.A. might not be a target, but because Hollywood has the highest number of nightclubs in the country, there's reason for caution.

So are club owners going to change how they operate? Nope!

I asked James Sinclair, who owns Element, and he's not worried about the threats. "If we change the way we operate –outside of being more aware of our surrounding and more diligent– then we give the terrorists what they want," he says. "We're in the safest area in the city. There are cameras and security guards everywhere."

Tricia LaBelle, who heads up The Hollywood Hospitality & Nightclub Owner's Association and also owns Boardner's, concurs. "We have so many other survival issues facing our industry at present time in Hollywood that adding another possible issue on top of the list at this point, I personally don't think scares anyone," she says. "As far as a car pulling up and blowing up in front of a venue, it certainly can happen and there isn't much anyone can do to prevent it."

Hollywood club promoter Jason Lavitt also agrees. "There are undercover police on the street each night."

In fact, every club operator I spoke to felt the same way, and that’s a relief.

So why’d he leave SBE with his middle fingers up in the air? Because CEO Sam Nazarian fired Roohi’s (now ex-) girlfriend Daniela Danilovic, who also worked at the company, without letting him know first. He felt it the worst betrayal.

Seven months later, he’s on his own trail, blazing ahead on three projects. The first is Villa, which opens in the old Monroe’s space in September.

It’s been conceptualized to have the feel of a billionaire’s home with a library, den and a bedroom-style lounge where the main bed will turn into a stage when jazz bands perform. It’s a brilliant idea, given that everyone’s always saying that the house parties in the Hills are what really make the Hollywood nightlife scene.

There won’t be promoters, though two of his investors –currently negotiating out of their deal at SBE and therefore on the DL— were big-time promoters at Area.

As for getting in, good luck. The venue only holds 120 people and is will open its doors to invitees.

OK, seriously: What’s going on Downtown? At first the nightlife revival was great–the bars were original and edgy and they brought people back to the street after dark. But lately every new Downtown bar or trend seems to mimic the Hollywood scene. 

Exhibit A: The most popular Hollywood hotspots have a theme, from Balinese temple (Mood) to vintage salon (Beauty Bar). The latest crop of bars to open Downtown also have themes, like Seven Grand, a Scottish-style whisky bar decked out in stag heads and flannel print. 

Exhibit B: Until recently, velvet-rope rejects (and those too weary to try) abandoned Hollywood for Downtown’s laid-back door policies. Then The Edison opened Downtown and poof, Converse-clad kids are now rejected at the door for not dressing chic enough. I find this especially ironic given that Marc Smith owns The Edison –the very man who opened Hollywood’s grungy Burgundy Room in 1989, only to sell it when he felt the neighborhood became too pretentious.

Exhibit C: The folks behind the trendy Citizen Smith, where every celeb under the sun comes to nibble and lounge, are opening an outpost of their Hollywood location in a Downtown loft called The Roosevelt, not be confused with the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, which houses Tropicana Bar and Teddy's.

It’s not that I don’t love Hollywood. I do, with a capital L. But I also have a heart-on for Downtown and it’d be a shame if the scene lost its identity and became trendy enough to attract the Paris Hilton types.